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Thanks!

There is a RTM extension called a Bit Better RTM listed which does not show up in gmail. It only works on RTM. If you have this, make sure you download the gmail plug-in @ http://www.rememberthemilk.com/services/gmail/addon/ Only saying this because i made the same mistake.

If you do have the correct plugin, I know some extension like etacts conflict with it. I'd try removing some of your extensions on the right side until it does appear.